[How many people does he know who are that polite? Like, two, which means he's instantly steeling himself against a rush of... anxiety? Nerves? He's not sure what to call it.
But he's not a coward, so he's opening the door.]
Hey.
[It's fine. It's just Flynn. Everything is normal.]
Here's the problem: Up until that kiss, Yuri thought he knew exactly where they stood. Whatever his own feelings were, they weren't reciprocated, and they never would be. He'd think of Flynn as a best friend and shove everything else down. And anything that didn't fit into that framework—like Flynn becoming so much more physically affectionate—could easily be explained away. Best friends. Obviously.
A kiss is different, and now Yuri has no idea what the hell he's dealing with. He feels like some dumb kid with a crush, utterly out of his depth. Flynn being so serious and vague now is only making that worse.
But maybe this isn't about that at all. Maybe to Flynn, it was no big deal.]
[Even as they walk, Flynn's quiet, still trapped in his own thoughts. Perhaps this wasn't the best way to do it. Actually, none of this has felt like the right way to do it, even if it felt right in the moment.
It's messy; he kissed Yuri without asking first, and one could attribute Yuri's quip after the fact due to his condition of severe bloodloss or his typical sarcastic personality. But really- who kisses someone when they're pulling a sword out of their stomach? What was he even thinking? And right now it seems like after it all, Yuri's just annoyed with him even being here, which he doesn't blame Yuri for.
But Yuri's nightmare. It seemed...
Nevermind what it seemed. He's running too much on assumptions and not enough direct answers. He's the one who's been pushing these boundaries- first holding hands, sleeping so closely together, touching Yuri's face, and then the kiss. It's not right of him to keep doing this to Yuri.]
Yes. I believe I... have overstepped. My...
[A blush rises to his cheeks.]
My advances were excessively wanton, and I hadn't considered your feelings with my actions. I'm sorry.
[If this were any other situation, that would crack him up. Nothing Flynn's done has been anything but chaste, so much so that Yuri could easily brush it aside. Even that kiss was chaste, really.
He doesn't know how to take this, though. Was it some kind of mistake? An impulsive fluke driven by adrenaline? What does he mean by advances? Maybe nothing, considering that ridiculous use of "wanton". Maybe he's apologizing because he's afraid he gave Yuri the wrong idea.
Yuri might not be blushing, but he's flustered, and he finds he can't quite meet Flynn's eyes. He'd much prefer to sink into the floor, actually.]
You don't have to apologize. You didn't mean anything by it. I get it.
[That doesn't feel quite true anymore, admittedly, but it's the assumption he's been working off of this entire time.]
[Why is he so bad at this? Talking about his feelings has never been one of his strong suits, he preferred to get his feelings out with his sword or with fighting. But he didn't think that he'd stumble over his words so much when it would come to this conversation. He even practiced this!]
I did mean something- that's why this is an issue!
[Yuri inhales sharply at that, shocked by the admission. There's that sudden rush of relief—it did mean something—but before he can let himself feel much else, it's tempered by stark disappointment.
It's an issue. Right. Of course it is. This, at least, feels logical in the face of all the recent unmooring, even if he can't articulate to himself why. He doesn't realize it, but he's tensed up instinctively, as though preparing for a blow.]
Which part of it is an issue?
[Is he afraid that Yuri's going to expect something? Push?]
What meant something to me- I never asked if you felt the same. I made a choice for you, instead of making it with you. It's the very thing I wanted to avoid. I have reasons for what I did, but none are an excuse for my actions.
[Sometimes he would think they'd be on the same page, but then either nothing came of it, and Yuri didn't say anything, or maybe he'd pull back entirely, or maybe Flynn pulled back too soon, or-]
[He's discovering he really, really hates talking about this, especially when Flynn stops. Yuri crosses his arms, focused on a building off in the distance.]
...No. Not ignoring.
[Ignoring isn't the right word, but he can't think of a better way to explain it.]
I didn't think there was anything to talk about.
[And he knows how much Flynn is going to hate that statement, but it's true. It felt like a situation that was already decided, somehow.]
[Because it better not be for the reason he thinks it is. The benefit of being a childhood friend means he has a resistance to this clear discomfort from Yuri.]
[He's not going to let this go, and maybe that's fair, but it's still nerve-wracking. He still has no idea how Flynn feels about any of this, not really, and so it takes a Herculean effort not to deflect or tell him to drop it.
Honesty, right?
He's always been the type to tell people what he thinks rather than how he feels, and so finding the words for this is much harder than he's used to.]
For a while I wasn't ready, and there was never a good time for it even if I'd wanted to. And then...
[Yuri scrubs a hand over his face, sighing.]
I thought I knew how you felt. It was one-sided, and that was fine. Why make you uncomfortable by pushing it?
[That's a fair enough answer that Flynn accepts it (even if it isn't the whole truth, he doesn't know for certain.) He exhales a quiet little sigh, getting his own thoughts together.]
I see.
[Yuri wanted to spare him the discomfort. Something he can't fault Yuri for, not when it's about something like this.]
I should have spoken up earlier. It would have spared us both the distress.
[Yuri's quiet for a moment, mouth twisting. So much for sparing them distress. If only Yuri weren't so terrible at this. But finally, he spits it out:]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action
no subject
But he's not a coward, so he's opening the door.]
Hey.
[It's fine. It's just Flynn. Everything is normal.]
no subject
no subject
What did I do this time?
no subject
[Ha ha...... right...]
I sometimes just work through things better when I'm moving.
no subject
Here's the problem: Up until that kiss, Yuri thought he knew exactly where they stood. Whatever his own feelings were, they weren't reciprocated, and they never would be. He'd think of Flynn as a best friend and shove everything else down. And anything that didn't fit into that framework—like Flynn becoming so much more physically affectionate—could easily be explained away. Best friends. Obviously.
A kiss is different, and now Yuri has no idea what the hell he's dealing with. He feels like some dumb kid with a crush, utterly out of his depth. Flynn being so serious and vague now is only making that worse.
But maybe this isn't about that at all. Maybe to Flynn, it was no big deal.]
Are you gonna clue me in at some point?
no subject
It's messy; he kissed Yuri without asking first, and one could attribute Yuri's quip after the fact due to his condition of severe bloodloss or his typical sarcastic personality. But really- who kisses someone when they're pulling a sword out of their stomach? What was he even thinking? And right now it seems like after it all, Yuri's just annoyed with him even being here, which he doesn't blame Yuri for.
But Yuri's nightmare. It seemed...
Nevermind what it seemed. He's running too much on assumptions and not enough direct answers. He's the one who's been pushing these boundaries- first holding hands, sleeping so closely together, touching Yuri's face, and then the kiss. It's not right of him to keep doing this to Yuri.]
Yes. I believe I... have overstepped. My...
[A blush rises to his cheeks.]
My advances were excessively wanton, and I hadn't considered your feelings with my actions. I'm sorry.
no subject
[If this were any other situation, that would crack him up. Nothing Flynn's done has been anything but chaste, so much so that Yuri could easily brush it aside. Even that kiss was chaste, really.
He doesn't know how to take this, though. Was it some kind of mistake? An impulsive fluke driven by adrenaline? What does he mean by advances? Maybe nothing, considering that ridiculous use of "wanton". Maybe he's apologizing because he's afraid he gave Yuri the wrong idea.
Yuri might not be blushing, but he's flustered, and he finds he can't quite meet Flynn's eyes. He'd much prefer to sink into the floor, actually.]
You don't have to apologize. You didn't mean anything by it. I get it.
[That doesn't feel quite true anymore, admittedly, but it's the assumption he's been working off of this entire time.]
no subject
[Why is he so bad at this? Talking about his feelings has never been one of his strong suits, he preferred to get his feelings out with his sword or with fighting. But he didn't think that he'd stumble over his words so much when it would come to this conversation. He even practiced this!]
I did mean something- that's why this is an issue!
no subject
It's an issue. Right. Of course it is. This, at least, feels logical in the face of all the recent unmooring, even if he can't articulate to himself why. He doesn't realize it, but he's tensed up instinctively, as though preparing for a blow.]
Which part of it is an issue?
[Is he afraid that Yuri's going to expect something? Push?]
no subject
[There, that's much more clear, isn't it?
Hm, maybe it's not, actually.]
What meant something to me- I never asked if you felt the same. I made a choice for you, instead of making it with you. It's the very thing I wanted to avoid. I have reasons for what I did, but none are an excuse for my actions.
no subject
What? You're acting like you took advantage of me.
[And part of him really wants to ask what those reasons are.]
no subject
You wanted me to?
no subject
I wasn't thinking about it right then, considering the sword and everything...
[That's sort of a joke.]
I thought you knew.
no subject
[Sometimes he would think they'd be on the same page, but then either nothing came of it, and Yuri didn't say anything, or maybe he'd pull back entirely, or maybe Flynn pulled back too soon, or-]
How could I have known?
no subject
I don't know. Maybe it seemed... obvious.
[Or at least, it was obvious to everyone else, wasn't it? So how does Flynn feel?]
no subject
You thought I knew you had feelings for me, but I was simply ignoring it, and so you never said anything? Is that correct?
no subject
...No. Not ignoring.
[Ignoring isn't the right word, but he can't think of a better way to explain it.]
I didn't think there was anything to talk about.
[And he knows how much Flynn is going to hate that statement, but it's true. It felt like a situation that was already decided, somehow.]
no subject
[Explain yourself further, Yuri.]
no subject
[He says it a little helplessly, desperately uncomfortable.]
What do you want me to say?
no subject
[Because it better not be for the reason he thinks it is. The benefit of being a childhood friend means he has a resistance to this clear discomfort from Yuri.]
no subject
Honesty, right?
He's always been the type to tell people what he thinks rather than how he feels, and so finding the words for this is much harder than he's used to.]
For a while I wasn't ready, and there was never a good time for it even if I'd wanted to. And then...
[Yuri scrubs a hand over his face, sighing.]
I thought I knew how you felt. It was one-sided, and that was fine. Why make you uncomfortable by pushing it?
no subject
I see.
[Yuri wanted to spare him the discomfort. Something he can't fault Yuri for, not when it's about something like this.]
I should have spoken up earlier. It would have spared us both the distress.
no subject
...I'm still kind of in the dark here, Flynn.
[He's an idiot.]
no subject
[He's also an idiot.]
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)